Lately, Friends have expressed their displeasure in the sudden change of my personality. I think I have become more quiet, reserved and distant, furthering my reach from friends and family who actually care, and keeping to myself most at times. This personality makes it difficult for people to lunge at me, with full extension and flexion of their pretentious smiles and grins just to know the story behind “his misanthropy”
I think this is a way to protect my mental space; by keeping a few trusted friends and making close meaningful relationships.
This month has been a very hectic one! I thank God my firm willpower has not been shattered yet. The hospital admissions of two close friends, the back to back duties conjugating the essence to produce well delivered presentations every 2 weeks, and the vigor to ensure my patients get the best of care-saps the limited energy I have.
Free flying ideas that rampage my mind muffles this deep seated call from God; penetrating every fibre of my nerve- endings, rendering me mute and teary just to acknowledge the need to worship Him.
Listening to music has always been my escape route to the stress of this life. Please discard the notion “I’m rude”, if I happen to disregard your presence, in the whirlwind of my earbuds, when I should have stopped and said Hi.
As I was ministering in church today, I felt this sudden calmness; God’s way of telling me He’s got it all. “Stop worrying and Worship”. That unruffled, serene, deep and strong voice that tames the feelings of guilt and despair and flames that spirit longing for Him.
That voice that breaks my stone-cold heart and melts it into fragments of blood vessels, that My heart can pump in response to Love, one more time.
That voice that gives me back the lost desire and restores in me the Love I felt once more for Him.
That voice that crumbles kingdoms and smashes nations into pellets of chaos by stilling their mighty storm with a single word.
That voice that is glorious in thunder and sends droplets of rain as evidence of His compassionate heart even after we falter.
That voice that calls us up further and further towards of His throne of grace, as He challenges us to grow in faith and love.
That voice that serves as a bedrock for my fleeting ideas and thoughts, thrown as darts by my panic-stricken heart.
I pray these words of Avalon in First Love stir up your desire to hear that voice of Power!
“I used to be the one who would long to hear Your voice
A child who sought to win his Father’s heart
But as I carried on, life’s got a hold on me
Now here I am a son so far from home
Tell me when did I loose my first love?
Where did the fire and passion go?
Burn in me Your holy fire give me back my lost desire
And restore in me the love I felt for You”
Is God’s voice of power the loudest voice in your life?
That’s the question.
If the answer is no, that’s the problem.
Thanks for reading!
This post was inspired by Zipporah. True friends like you are rare. Keep being yourself!